Archive for February, 2013

I’m running for Pope

Right, then…

So, in 2005, I ran for Pope after John Paul died.  I lost out to John Ratzinger because he had an in-depth knowledge of the bible, whereas my knowledge surrounded drinking heavily and the finer points of the Cheerleader Pyramid.

Now that Ratzinger is stepping down, I’m throwing my [tall, pointy] hat back into the ring.  To sweeten the deal, I am throwing in 11 more commandments (raising the total to 21) because some things need to be written down.  So, for your perusal,  please find Pope Guido XXXXVI’s (or G46 – either is acceptable) Commandments 11 through 21:

11. Thou shalt deal with the fact that there are folks in the world that are different than thou.
12. Thou shant try to manipulate, subjugate or otherwise control said individuals in #11, above.
13. Thou shalt not expect to not be offended in life.
14. Thou’s deeds shalt be in alignment with thou’s words.
15. Thou shalt mind thou own fucking business (MTOFB).
16. Thou shant be a dick.
17. Thou shalt seek to improve thouself, or at least be an improvement on thou’s prior generation.
18. Thou shalt face thy problems, not Facebook them (Credit: Unknown).
19. Thou shant cock block (or the female variation thereof).
20. Thou shant hijack threads of others. (added by special request)

21. Thou shalt keep it in thou’s pants whilst around children or others that are not interested in it.

Sincerely, Pope Guido XXXXVI

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Hoo Rag Review

Right, then…

So, I was going to do a video review of the Hoo Rag, but the video function on my camera…well…it sucks. So, you’re getting prose instead.

First off – a Hoo Rag is basically a tubular bandanna.  You can learn more about it here:

I got the paisley red Hoo Rag, because I have no imagination, whatsoever. It’s fairly durable – I mean, I wouldn’t use it to tie the boat to the dock, but it could be used for light bondage, were you so inclined.

Light Bondage.jpg

Surprisingly the tube configuration is somewhat adaptable (which, admittedly, is demonstrated on the HR website.) It can be used as a neck gaiter, a beanie or a sweat band (which is convenient if you’re Apollo Anton Ohno…or Willie Nelson…or Mike Reno from Loverboy.)

Mike Reno.jpgAdditionally, it works as a blindfold in case…I dunno…in case you’re kidnapping someone or putting them in front of a firing squad…or any situation that requires the other person not be able to see what you’re doing. It can also be used as a wristband, in case you have one wrist that sweats more than the other. Heading out to Scott Baio fantasy camp? Well, you can just slip this around your right thigh and get your Chachi on.



Feeling antisocial? Well, just pull the rag over your head and cover your face and people will leave you alone. I can see this function being useful while riding mass transit because really – who’s going to mess with someone that has a rag over their face?

Face Cover.jpg

Finally, I guess it would be apropos for me to point out that it can be tied into a pirate rag, as well.

Pirate Rag.jpg

The Hoo Rag is made of fairly lightweight material – lighter than the standard bandanna. Because of this, I can wear it while running in “cooler” (50 to 60 degrees) but not “cold” (below 50) temps without over heating.

In these temps, it does a fairly good job of soaking up sweat, though I wonder how it would perform in warmer temps. A couple of weeks ago I was on a hike and managed to soak it fairly well on the way up. On the way back down, I was able to ring it out and it was back to being reasonably dry (dry enough to provide warmth) in about 10 minutes.

As for cleanup, I toss it in the washer and dryer like normal – no fuss, no muss.

Admittedly, I would not have considered buying one before, but now that I have one, I can see that it’s good to have for running on those not too cold/not too warm days.

So, there it is: The Hoo Rag. Buy one. Or two, if you’re going to put one on both wrists.


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